The Pawshank Redemption

January 9^th 2012

Bonjour kitty fans and welcome back to my weekly documentation of adventures. Once again this diary entry is fashionably late due to unforeseen circumstances. This time my feeble excuse comes in the shape of incarceration, namely in the conservatory of my own house. The female was preparing the dining room for guests and opened the sliding door to the conservatory in order to retrieve the sofa bed. As they say, “curiosity killed the cat.” Well not quite but I slipped in there unnoticed and the door was swung shut behind me. It is quite a traumatic experience knowing that you are powerless to do anything about your own situation; therefore I just sat there until someone noticed me. Sure enough, they found me but it was far too late in the evening for me to start my diary entry.

My litter box is starting to resemble the “bog of eternal stench” from that movie Labyrinth. The humans seem quite content to leave my poo to fester in amongst a combination of wood pellets and urine. Sometimes I wait until I’m let outside just so I can have a dump in a clean spot, usually next door’s garden. I have been in kitty rehab all week, trying to kick this habit of drinking from the toilet. I explained this to the two nice dogs next door and they greeted my treatment with confusion. They say that drinking from the toilet is the best part of their day but I’m not convinced. Sure it’s fun but it’s not a lifestyle and it certainly doesn’t control me, I can quit any time.

The biggest human, I think he is called Gary, had a go at me last week because I didn’t mention his friend that came to visit the house just to see me. She fussed over me a lot and liked stroking my fur. Apparently she gave him a hard time because I didn’t mention her in my diary entry from last week. Oh well, that really doesn’t concern me. Sorry Gary but I don’t do shout outs or requests, I’m far too busy a kitty to be concerned with mentioning people...Big up the rabbits Rose and Martha in the garden though – they are two tough girls to be braving the weather out there, see you next week...