Sin Kitty

December 19^th 2011

I don’t think the humans are happy with me this week. I can’t seem to keep anything down after I eat it. The food is nice enough and the volume is sufficient, but I have been getting sudden urges to spew it all over the carpet at any given opportunity. I don’t believe that my upset stomach is the real reason why they are unhappy with me though, more due to the fact that whenever I empty the contents of my tummy, I then proceed to play with the pile of sick and spread it all over the house. You should have heard them when they discovered the artwork in the front room; all sorts of new words were being thrown around towards my direction. I guess they don’t appreciate the work that went into the formation of regurgitated meaty chunks around the carpet, a much uncultured bunch if you ask me.

I had a chat with one of the cats in my neighbourhood yesterday. He is a black cat and is much bigger than me. He used to scare me a little when he would come into my garden and stare at me before I ran into the house. He is ok really, although he got me into trouble before. In the summer he convinced me to invite him into my house while the humans were busy watching the box of moving images. One of them clocked us sneaking through the kitchen and immediately chased my guest away. How was I supposed to know I couldn’t have friends over? I must have missed that memo. He doesn’t come around that often now, probably because I am a bit bigger now and can stand up to him.

I will have to try and improve the humans’ collective mood this week. Maybe I could bring in another half-dead mouse as a peace offering or actually poo in the litter box instead of just missing it and hitting the floor. Although that last one sounds like too much effort, why should I have to be accurate all of the time? They wouldn’t praise me if I didn’t start off rubbish then make slow improvements as time moves on. Right, I’m off for a kip, the 6^th one of the day so only 3 more to go...