The Next Mouse Hitler

November 27^th 2011

I’m growing tired and underappreciated in my own house this week. Once again I went out of my way to do something nice just to get it thrown back in my face. The biggest one, let’s call him captain; let me in after a hard days graft in the back garden. He stood and watched as I trotted in all proud of myself after spending all day looking for a present for him. I put it down on the kitchen floor and waited for my thank you and a pat on the back. The next thing I know I hear him shouting, “That’s gross kitty!!!” before he put a bag over his weird opposable thumbed hand, picked up my present and threw it in the big green bin outside. That is the thanks I get for spending the best part of the day stalking, pouncing and clawing that mouse. He died a noble death, plus I was pretty sure he was going to be the next mouse Hitler so I did the mouse community a favour. If only my buddy indoors saw it that way.

They did something really weird today. I don’t get these animals I live with; they do pointless things with their time. I spend the day investigating areas by sniffing and touching. Then I sleep before investigating more areas, a bit of food and more sleep before investigating the same areas I covered at the start of the day. Very important stuff. Like today for instance, I investigated one of the rooms upstairs. When one of the animals goes in there, they come out and there is a funny smell. Much like my litter box after I poo. Sometimes I like to go in there after they have used it and the big porcelain thing is still open. I like to jump up onto the edge and have a sniff, and then I get in to taste the bit of water at the bottom. The results of my investigation usually end with me emptying my guts through my mouth onto the kitchen floor, it’s really interesting stuff. Anyway, back to the weird thing they were doing today. The female and her mate got home with the smaller one and brought in a massive box. They emptied the box and started moving things around in the room at the front of the house. As they started assembling the contents of the big box I soon discovered that it was some kind of tree. Why would they be bringing a tree indoors? Why was it in a box? We have several trees in the back garden; can’t we use one of those? They then did something even more bizarre. They started putting pretty little lights and balls on the branches in a decorative manner before the little guy stuck a star shaped thing on top. They then sat back and stared at it for a while before going about their usual business. What the hell is going on? Is the tree replacing me? I can’t know for sure but I will wait until they leave tomorrow and investigate around the tree. The balls actually look like a fun thing to play with!!